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Tag Archives: Poem
With You
With you A grassy bed A bright blue sky Overhead What do I Care For thistles creepy-crawlies herds of sheep and peeping toms? With you Your auburn hair Dog-brown eyes Firm breasts (And the rest) I don’t even notice The … Continue reading
The Futility of Philosphising
What is Life? The Philosopher mused As he sat all alone In the wood. And is there a difference He went on to ponder Between what is Bad And what is Good? And as he sat there The sun overhead … Continue reading
The Eighth Rate Poet
I am the eighth rate poet Doggerel’s what I write: Cliched, commonplace, rhyming verse; Humdrum, dull, and trite. Aye, if you want poetical rubbish That scans and rhymes, a bit You could find no better person Than me, to write … Continue reading
The Haggler
The Devil sat on my shoulder And offered me all Bentilee From Willfield right down to Twigg Street Fenton fields, transmitter, and tree! Course! He wanted somethin’ for ‘em As anyone would, wouldn’t you? But He said my sould would … Continue reading
Dear Sis' (cough, cough)
Dear Sis’, cough, cough I just thought I would sit down, cough, cough And write you this line, cough, cough Whilst, cough, cough I have some spare time, cough, cough As, cough, cough I’ve just been told, cough, cough To … Continue reading
Weep no more sad willow tree
Weep no more sad willow tree Sky no more be blue Rain clouds change your dowdy grey For some brighter hue Let each flower become a rose Let rainbows fill the sky Widows put on your brightest clothes And let … Continue reading
The Puffin' Song (To the tune of Jingle Bells)
Dashin’ through the snow Chasin’ my toupee O’er the hills I go Puffin’ all the way! Arms I madly swing Turning my face bright Oh, what fun it is to run And sing a running song tonight: Oh, puffin’ here, … Continue reading
You are old, Father Christmas
You are old, Father Christmas, the young boy said Yet you transverse the world in one night Now tell me, I pray thee, how you achieve this feat Do your reindeer travel faster than light? I am old, as you … Continue reading
Posted in Humour, Poems, Self-Published
Tagged Christmas, Parody, Poem, The Bentilean
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Deck the Barn
Deck the barn with boughs of holly Fa la la, la la la lah Tis the time for yuletide folly Fa la la, la la la lah Pass the mince pies and the puddin’ Fa la la, la la la … Continue reading
We Three Fans
We three fans of Port Vale are Pissed as newts after the bar Drowning sorrows, ghastly horrors Lost six-nil to Q.P.R.! Oh, bar asunder, bar alight! Bar is burning, hot & bright Quickly fleeing We’re pleading “Save us from the … Continue reading
