You are old, Father Christmas

You are old, Father Christmas, the young boy said
Yet you transverse the world in one night
Now tell me, I pray thee, how you achieve this feat
Do your reindeer travel faster than light?

I am old, as you said, Father Christmas replied
And not in the best of good health
But I have plenty of help in the shape of old gnomes
A fairy, and a six-foot-two elf!

You are old, Father Christmas, the young boy said
And your memory much surely be failing
And yet you remember the boys and girls names
Who all year round have been behaving.

It is true what you say, Father Christmas replied
But I have thise here memory system
And when it sees my brain cells stumblin’
It rushes to aid and assist ’em.

You are old, Father Christmas, the young boy said
And must surely be due for retirement
In fact, your hair is so white and so thin
You must be well on your way to expirement.

I have listened to you long, Father Christmas replied
His face assuming a frown
And I can tell you right now, for nothing and less
Yours is one chimney I won’t be going down!

___________
©John Steele, 1987, 2008
Mine own seasonal parody of Robert Southey’s “You are old, Father William”.

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