POEM: Oh, why don’t girls fall over me?

Oh, why don’t girls fall over me?
I asked meself today
I’m almost-strong, almost-charming, almost-handsome
Indeed, almost-perfect in every way
So why don’t girls fall over me
Left ‘n’ right ‘n’ every-which-way?

It can’t possibly be my personality
For that’s bubbly, bright and gay
So why don’t girls fall over me
And run their fingers through my toupee?

Could it, perchance, be the hairy wart I have upon me nose?
Or maybe it’s my armpits, that smell (unlike a rose)?
Or maybe it’s the way I walk: all hunched up and with a limp?
Or the way I eat bananas: with my feet (just like a chimp)?

Ah, but could such things be putting them off
Such a precious – nay, priceless – pearl?
Ah, but maybe (just maybe), the reason could be
The fact that I’m also a girl!

______________________________________________________________

Copyright John Steele 2011
Another typewritten ‘poem’ I’d forgotten about, so probably also written in the ’80s. Why though, I have no idea (well, actually, I used to written humourous stuff to cheer myself up during periods of mild depression, so that’s probably the why). Meanwhile, I can only apologise.

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