Fitting Ends III

More of my entries from the now defunct website, (link to

Dawn French

Sacrificed by Zanon7c

On location in the jungle, making a Vicar of Dibley Missionary Special, she bends over (for no adequately explained reason) causing an eclipse of the Sun. The terrified natives attack and slaughter her as a sacrifice to their gods. Asked if it had affected morale amongst the other actors, Trevor Peacock (Jim Trott) replied: “No, no, no, no, no….yes. She will be sorely missed.”

Pam Ayres

Final wish by Zanon7c

She wished she’d looked after her teeth — Cause then (it was her belief) — She could’ve gnawed through the ropes — Employed by the blokes — To bind her, then hang her (then leave).

E.J. Thribb (17 1/2)

Lines by john anon mcgonagall by john anon

Twas in this year of 2005, that E.J. Thribb, Great Poet of Private Eye up and died. His many lines had remembered others, who’d left behind their friends and fathers and their mothers. Alas! in his final days he went round the bend, from ink poisoning. A sad but fitting end. Let us all hope whether heavenward or hellbound he ended up going, it’s full of people who liked his poems.

In Memorandum by Zanon7c

So, farewell then, E.J. Thribb. (17 1/2) — In Memorandum poet in Private Eye magazine. — “So, farewell then.” — That. Was your catchphrase. — “That was your catchphrase” — That was your other. — Keith’s mum says she will miss your poignant poems. — Keith’s dad thought they were rubbish. — I just wondered how many more years it would have been until you turned 18.

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