Category Archives: Unpublished Works

Writings that haven’t (yet!) appeared in print format.

Why/How did the…..cross the road? Jokes

Why did the cow cross the road? A: Because the farmer drove her. How did the German U-boat captain cross the road? A: He used the subway, of course! Why did the ravenous lion cross the road? A: Because he … Continue reading

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POEM: Oh, why don’t girls fall over me?

Oh, why don’t girls fall over me? I asked meself today I’m almost-strong, almost-charming, almost-handsome Indeed, almost-perfect in every way So why don’t girls fall over me Left ‘n’ right ‘n’ every-which-way? It can’t possibly be my personality For that’s … Continue reading

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POEM: I Have A Punk Milkwoman

I have a punk milkwoman Her name is Bertha-Sue Alas, about delivering milk She hasn’t a bleeding clue! One day I shouted after her That I wanted pasteurized So she threw a bottle after me Right past my eyes But … Continue reading

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Stoke 2110, Betty, Mum and I’s — My entry to Stoke Story 2010

Still heady from my success as a runner-up in the Stoke Story 2002 writing competition (with “Pete and the Pottery Genie” — see elsewhere on this website), I jumped at the chance to enter the Stoke Story 2010 competition, promptly … Continue reading

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